parody

Lithium Ion Rechargeable Battery Care

Published on Monday, 12 January 2015

After studying this issue over time I have compiled a list of dos and don'ts for maximizing the life and use of your lithium ion battery in your phone, tablet or laptop:

Proposed NPR Weekend Edition Sunday Puzzle

Published on Tuesday, 05 February 2013

Take the first and last names of two famous football players. Swap the second letter of each player's first and last name (i.e. Joe Namath would become Jae Nomath). Then swap the last letter of each player's first and last names with the last letter of the other player's first and last name. Now take the latin species name of a common songbird of the north eastern US. Add the middle three letters of the bird's species name to the last names of the football players. You should have a total of four words in two pairs. Select one of the name pairs and drop the other.

Gluten Free for the Holidays

Published on Friday, 21 December 2012

When people first think of gluten-free foods they think of dishes that would have gluten-based grain, but have had it substituted with epoxy or gypsum. Or they think of rice porridge with a raisin (maybe two). Or perhaps they think of some exotic dish that makes you choke because it is made of puree of okra with xanthan gum, adzuki beans and durian wrapped in oak leaves. (And stored under the deck for 3 weeks in August). Served on a nest of undercooked quinoa.

Ode to Allen Ginsberg

Published on Tuesday, 27 March 2012

America,

I don't cry for you.

I'm tired.

I have corns,

and the unbecoming putty is showing in the gloaming of the

streetlight understudy.

Your understudies!

Your streetlights!

America,

I don't cry for you.

I'm sleepy.

Your noisy buttery spreads

and your lilac larynxes jiggle

in your sewer-trapped licorice wraps.

America,

I don't cry for you.

I'm cold.

Too many have sworn their shoes to the

garbage heaps of shrieking shit-faced toad buckets.

America,

A response to a housemate inquiry

Published on Sunday, 03 October 2010

When we are advertising for new renters at our house we get some interesting submissions (happily we are at capacity right now). These messages are always from scammers, but responding to them has become a form of artistic expression for me. I am not exactly sure why anyone would ever buy into this. Of course,  greed and lust are pretty good intoxicants.... 

Hi Lisa,

Okay Okay, I can't help it: A pure capitalist solution to the insurance mandate

Published on Tuesday, 10 August 2010

Everyone who's known me from grade school on knows I am passionate about social justice and politics. I recently heard Missouri voters rejected the insurance mandate in the new federal health care act. Perhaps the mandate is unconstitutional, but if that is the case, the right-leaning Supreme Court will overturn it. This got me to thinking however, maybe ideological capitalism might be the solution after all, we'd just need to make some adjustments to some of our cultural values. 

So here goes: 

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